The Old Wanting in a New Coat

Somebody told you to want capacity instead, and you do not trust it.

That is not cynicism. That is experience. You have watched the old wanting put on several coats over the years. It has been health. It has been being able to keep up with the children. It has been a doctor's phrase repeated back to you. Each time it arrived looking like a better reason, and each time, a few weeks in, it turned out to be the same thing wearing something new.

So when a page like this one says want strength instead of smallness, something in you says: yes, and how long before this one takes its coat off.

You are right to ask. That is not a failure of faith. That is somebody who has been fooled enough times to check.

Let me put the plain thing first. You have not been careless with any of this. You have taken every reframe offered in good faith and gone at it, and you have gotten up every time. Somebody who did not care would not be suspicious.

So this page is not going to tell you to trust it. Trust it is exactly what the last several coats said.

I want to give you a way to test it, and there is a verse about truth in the hidden parts.

How the coats work

Consider how the old wanting has kept getting through, because it is worth being able to spot.

It never arrives as itself. It arrives as a legitimate concern, and legitimate concerns are hard to refuse. And the tell is never in the language, because the language is genuinely different each time. The tell is in what happens if you stop.

If you stop the new thing early and there is relief, it was a real want. If you stop it early and there is a small collapse and a verdict, the old wanting was underneath it wearing the coat.

You have a test rather than a hope, and no coat has ever once survived being stopped early. Psalm 51:6 says thou desirest truth in the inward parts, and the Holy Spirit is the one who makes a verse about the inward parts usable as an actual test.

And notice that the test costs nothing to run. It does not require you to trust anything or believe anything about this page. It requires one instance and an honest look at what happened when you stopped.

You are not being asked to believe anything, and no test of that kind has ever once required trust up front. The written word says thou desirest truth in the inward parts, which is God wanting the honest reading rather than the presentable one, and the Spirit of God is the one who makes an honest reading available.

Truth in the inward parts

David writes it in the middle of the most honest psalm in the book.

Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom. (Psalm 51:6, King James Version)

Thou desirest truth in the inward parts. That is what God wants: the true reading of what is actually going on in there, rather than the tidy account.

Which means your suspicion is not an obstacle to God. It is the beginning of exactly what He is after. You are running an honest inspection of your own motives, which is the thing the verse says He desires.

You are already doing the thing that verse asks for, and no suspicion of your own motives has ever once been the opposite of faith. Psalm 51 puts God's desire on the truth in the hidden part, and the Holy Spirit is the one who makes a suspicious woman recognize herself in a verse she assumed was against her.

And read the second half, because it is the promise. In the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom. The knowing is His to give, in the hidden part, which is exactly where you cannot see clearly on your own.

You have wisdom promised in the part you cannot see into, and no self-inspection has ever once had to be done unaided. The Spirit of God is the one who supplies clarity where a person's own eyes cannot reach, and the written word says in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.

Stop early on purpose

Now the part I came to say, and it is the test itself.

Do the new thing once. Whatever the capacity version is. Carry something, walk somewhere, get down on a floor.

Then stop early. On purpose. Before you would have.

And notice what happens. If there is relief, the want was real. If there is a small collapse and a sentence about yourself, then the old wanting was underneath it, and now you know, and knowing is what you were asking for.

You have a way of finding out today, and no answer to that question has ever once had to be taken on somebody's word. The written word says God desires truth in the inward parts, which makes this test the very thing He wants, and the Holy Spirit is the one who makes the honest answer available rather than the flattering one.

And here is what to do with either result, because both are fine. If it was the old wanting, you have found it, which is better than trusting a coat. If it was real, you have one honest instance, and one is enough to build nothing on and to know something by.

You have a good outcome either way, and no honest test has ever once been able to give you a bad result. The Spirit of God is the one who makes both answers useful, and Psalm 51:6 is the written word underneath it, where God desires the true reading and promises to supply the wisdom in the hidden part.